Identify
by Blood Garnet
Summary: 10 chapters, 10! HPSS slash, Vampire! Snape, sorta, now completely screwed up SSLM, DMBZ, GWHG, RWHG, etc. Harry's gone into magical stasis, what does this have to do with his depression? and what's up with Snape following him? First ff pleaz R
1. Theboywhomerelyexisted

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 1 The Boy Who Merely Existed  
  
Harry sat slowly packing up the rest of his potions equipment, he stared straight ahead seeing nothing, Ron and Hermione had both left with the others two minutes since, making their hasty retreat, not wanting to hang around their potions master any longer than necessary. He made everyone feel uncomfortable except Harry, because Harry no longer really felt anything, not the fearful and furtive stares from his friends, not even the one focussed on him from the front of the classroom.  
  
"What do you want, Potter?" The voice was black velvet, but more exasperated than infused with it's usual biting sarcasm. "I'm afraid Professor Snape that I do not quite understand your question." Harry stood to put away his parchment, quill and ink. Severus regarded his student's blank expression, moving across the classroom in front of the boy who, now having registered his teachers stare was finding the ingredients of his green ink of intense interest. Deciding that Potter was being sincere and not merely difficult as a method of making his day even worse, the teacher elaborated.  
  
"What is it that you aspire to do or have, you have to have some thing to live for, that's who you are, the boy who lived, not the boy who merely existed! I'm tired of seeing you walk around empty eyed or, in those occasional moments when you still seem to have any feeling left, radiating self loathing."Severus lifted Potter's arms, "And by the way," his voice was now no more than a silken whisper, eyes tracing each scar that suddenly broke the smooth perfection of Potter's skin. "Your glamour charms are wearing off." Harry cursed him self, he hadn't renewed the spell in days and he'd rolled back his sleeves as they'd had a prac-test that class.  
  
The mask dropped for a second, something akin to emotion flitted across Harry's face, yes, it was definitely there, shame. Harry opened his mouth to say something, anything. He'd fallen down the stairs or even that it had just been a faze, and he didn't do it anymore, but under Snape's searing gaze he found it impossible to lie to the man. So Harry closed his mouth soundlessly and once again, the ink. The way the light shone through it giving it the brilliance of a Slytherin banner, it was made with charmed colours no. 260 and 493 and the proportion of mermaid ink to water was exactly five to two.  
  
"Harry," His head shot up and he was once again caught up in that stare not unkind but uncomfortably intense, and there was something else, it had been in the tone of Snape's voice that time as well. Worry, Snape was worried about him and he'd called him by his first name.* I must be a pretty pathetic specimen, if one of my archrivals is worried about me, pitying me*.  
  
"I'm fine, thankyou Professor." He said softly, might as well be polite, they were after all on the same side and he didn't have the energy for a fight, he didn't even have the energy for a conversation with someone who maybe didn't hate him as much as he had originally thought.  
  
'I didn't ask you how you were Mister Potter, however for what it's worth I'm glad to hear it, if it's true." Harry opened his mouth to point out that though the Professor hadn't asked out right he'd only just come short of hand signing it or going into some form of ridiculous mime routine, however he stopped himself just in time. This newfound lack of hatred was something he didn't want disturb, as aforementioned he didn't have enough energy to fight.  
  
"Perhaps Mister Potter, you should conclude your packing up. Though I dare say it would do wonders for my reputation to seem as though I had found an excuse to give you detention as you packed up after such an uneventful class." It had been uneventful, even Neville had some how (with a lot of help from Hermione) completed the task with not so much as one explosion. "Come along Mr. Potter, or you'll miss lunch and that wouldn't be good would it. You have your health and figure to look after. Wouldn't want to be too sick to play quidditch now would we, not to mention disappointing all your little fan girls and boys."  
  
"No Sir." Was his quiet response and together they made their way to the great hall, not on purpose but simply because they were making their way to the same place. Well that's what Harry told himself anyway, he'd usually have put his stuff up in his dorm first, but as he told himself later, he was running late. *When did you start caring about punctuality/* a very Snape like voice asked in the back of his mind, dripping with the expected and lately missing sarcasm usually associated with remarks made by the Potions Master.  
  
Severus knew a hundred different ways to get to the great hall, the one he was currently following Har.Potter on was particularly meandering. As he shortened his strides so as to keep level with his student he convinced his- self that he was merely doing this to make sure Harry actually went and ate something. He could walk around to the teacher's entrance later. He would have done this with any other student in the same situation.  
  
When Severus was being absolutely honest with himself he admitted he did treat Harry differently, despite his attempts not to. In the first potions class his little pop quiz had been designed to cut down to size the incredibly inflated ego of a spoilt brat who had spent the last eleven years of his life being told that he had saved the world. He hadn't realised that Harry had grown up with his muggle relatives and had been informed of his unusual early childhood less than a month later. Upon discovering this he considered even apologising but he had a reputation to keep up and decided against it. Now that he was back spying he could not risk giving the slightest indication he cared whether or not the foolish boy lived or died, let alone whether or not he was happy.  
  
Finally they came to the double doors at the main entrance to the great hall, Harry gave a formal nod, face carefully made void of expression. "Harry,"(there was that name again) "If the fact that almost all those who surround you, students and teachers alike, care about you isn't enough to stop you doing this," He gestured to Harry's arms, now carefully concealed under his robes "then think about this, if you continue people will find out eventually, it will go around the school like wild fire, don't give Malfoy the satisfaction." A smile ghosted across the boy's features, and just for a moment the lights were back in his eyes. Severus's breath hitched, such openness and innocence. Despite all that had happened Harry still smiled the same way he had when he first arrived at the school, Severus promised himself he would make the boy smile like that again. The smile was gone in a second, but it was firmly imprinted in his mind.  
  
"Is there anything else Professor?" The mask was up again; an expert of this particular art Severus admired the boy's handy work, very good, too good. The thought saddened him. "Not really, just, well, eat something today Potter, Ok?" *Oh yes Severus that was eloquent*, he felt his IQ drop four points bringing him to just under the number for genius, *damn*.  
  
Harry stepped through the door Snape had opened for him and walked quickly to the Gryffindor table, thinking about how nice it was to be called by his last name in such a, dare he say friendly, no he did not dare, um . a lacking in spite and nasty intent way. It was almost as good as being called by his first name when the other person didn't know they were doing it. Had Snape bee in full control of him self and what he was feeling, concern, pity, whatever, he would never have allowed himself to call him Harry, well not out loud, maybe in his mind. *Severus*, Harry rolled the thought of the name around in his head and decided he liked it, he'd just have to be careful not to say it out loud or he would get some very strange looks, and, should the said man be present a couple of months detention scrubbing burnt cauldrons.  
  
He sighed and Hermione looked up with what should have by now become a very familiar look of concern written across her face. At least it would have been familiar had he ever been living in the present long enough to notice. "Harry, is there something the matter?" It came out louder than he thought was normal for Hermione, who though he did not know it had adjusted to Harry's mind wondering and often implemented a high volume when she wanted his attention. "Don't worry 'Mione, it's nothing."  
  
Harry continued not eating and avoiding conversation, distracted by the mind-boggling truth now facing him. Sna- Severus did not hate him, and for some reason he realised he was happy about this. Harry had never liked being the object of hatred, and he understood that what made Severus's hatred so painful was that it was- had been (if it ever had existed) nothing to do with him. Maybe to do with his father, or just because he was the bot who lived, but nothing to do with the boy he had grown up to be, just Harry.  
  
Severus's arrival in the hall a few minutes later went unobserved by most. Only Harry and Dumbledore were actively looking out for his appearance. It was by chance that Hermione followed Harry's quick nervous look up at the staff table before looking away just as fast. He had been looking at Snape, but why? She pondered this as she ate noting that Harry was staring off in to the distance instead of using lunchtime for its allocated purpose. She also, more felt, than saw an intent gaze coming from the staff table, directed just passed her to her raven haired friend who at that moment was finding the way the torches attached to the walls were flickering simply intriguing. 


	2. Overload

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 2 Overload  
  
Har-.Potter wasn't eating again. He was sure that he'd told the child-boy- teen-whatever that he was supposed to eat something, but naturally he was downright throwing it back in his face. Severus watched with interest as Granger tried to tear Harry's attention away from a torch flickering in a less than spectacular way. For a second Severus wondered if there was something special about this torch that only The-Boy-Who-Extraordinary- Things-Happen-To could see, but on closer inspection he dismissed this, deciding Harry's interest in the torch was something akin to his fascination with the green ink earlier, the fact that it wasn't the face of someone who was trying to talk to him. Belatedly Severus realised he was staring. He didn't care; if Harry felt his gaze he gave no outward signs.  
  
Harry felt the onyx eyes boring in to him. He could do nothing but quail under that look, it seemed to lay him open. All the weakness he had to hide, all the fronts he'd had to put up, all the pain of his weighted conscience he'd had to conceal. The scars on Harry's wrists burned as he felt his carefully placed walls crumbling around him, leaving him exactly as he was, scared, scarred, lonely and guilt ridden. With out a word to anyone Harry stood, fighting to stop himself meeting the stare, because if he did he would surely break and everyone would see the hope of the wizarding-world shatter. He left without once taking his eyes from the floor.  
  
Severus waited a couple of minutes before standing; the boy couldn't have gone far in the state he was in. A master of fronts himself, Severus could see Harry's as it fell around him. His exit unlike Harry's was noted by only two people, a Gryffindor brunette, now flanked by only one of her two constant companions of the last 6 years and a Slytherin his eyes usually an abnormally clear grey now clouded as a moonstone with confusion.  
  
Having exited the hall by that ever-convenient little side door the teachers used, Severus took out a blank sheet of parchment yellowed with age. Lightly tapping it with his wand and muttering quietly "Death to Gryffindor." A map to rival the marauders appeared lacking only the secret passage to the shrieking shack. Severus looked for Harry, he hadn't made it more than twenty meters from the hall.  
  
Hermione was confused; Harry had acted strangely, even for him. Who just walks out of a meal without talking to anyone? This was not normal behaviour even for the now quiet and withdrawn Harry everyone was just starting to get used to. She sighed; if Harry wanted to talk about it, he'd mention it. Hermione was determined not to push, after all, what would happen if she pushed too far? Severus was about to find out.  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Harry sat, hugging his legs, head resting on his knees, back shuddering with his empty sobs. He never had been able to cry properly, not for two years. A comforting hand rested at the nape of his neck, ever so softly caressing. In his misery Harry didn't care who it was, it was contact. The skin under those fingers was somehow alive, taunting him with their whisper of sensation. Harry wanted, needed to feel. He lent in to the touch. He hadn't let anyone touch him in so long, he didn't deserve the consolation that hugs from his friends offered, he didn't deserve to have someone who could be bothered quietly sitting with him, trying to soothe nerves so damaged that they barely even reacted to normal stimuli. But there was someone here, silent and reassuring, gently pulling him into a hug. He could feel it coming, and that was just it, he could feel. Everything he had numbed himself to, ignored, put out of mind came flooding through his senses. His heart was thawed and under everything he felt, it started burning. The tears that had never come came, the walls crumbled and Harry started falling into the darkness of his mind.  
  
Severus was not surprised to find Harry as he had. Even the teen's sobbing had hardly been much of a shock considering the state in which he had left the hall. No, what affronted Severus was that Harry no longer seemed to care where he was, or who was there. He didn't even care enough to turn and see who laid their hand on his back. The teen's inattentiveness worried the Slytherin until something even more disturbing occurred, Harry desperately lent into the touch as if it was all there was, all he could feel. Severus rubbed gently trying to convey reassurance, trying to soothe him. It didn't help; he was simply rewarded by more empty sobs.  
  
Awkwardly but with quiet determination he pulled Harry into a hug. Instead of calming him down this merely heightened the young man's agitation. Harry turned unseeing, blinded by tears and threw his arms around his teachers neck, face buried in it's hollow, hands entwined in the long slightly oily strands of Severus's hair. The body Harry was clinging on to as if his very existence depended on it stiffened for a second, Severus had not counted on becoming a pillow/tissue. However resigning him-self to the fact he would need to change his robes and could be squashed uncomfortably up against the wall for some time he sighed, encircling Harry tightly in his arms and gently as a mother, had Harry but known it, rocked the teen back and forth. Harry cried for five minutes more before his emotional out break took its toll and he passed out.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Hermione left lunch early as usual; there was no one to talk to anymore. Ron was always attempting to talk to her about Quidditch and though she thought it was sweet of him to try to keep her mind of Harry it got annoying after a while, besides she had nothing useful to contribute. They both felt Harry's absence keenly, they cared about each other a lot but somehow in normal conversation Harry kept it together changing the subject to include Hermione when it got too Quidditch orientated, or for Ron when Hermione started to get a little too animated about Goblin Rebellions. So what was a girl to do? Go and study for her transfiguration end of topic test, of course (even if it was in two months and they hadn't even covered the requirements yet). She rounded the corner, trying to remember how exactly to ensure that her piece of pasta would turn into a perfect fine bone china plate with authentic Willow Pattern decorations ( Magonnagal had a thing for that design, something to do with two animagi lovers escaping their families as birds) when passing the opening of a side passage she could have sworn she saw movement. Curiosity killed the, well, former cat, so Hermione turned on her heel to see what it was that had caught her eye. At first glance she figured that it must have been a trick of the light, or perhaps an over active portrait but no. Once her eyes had adjusted to the lack of light she saw two figures, one clinging desperately to the other, face turned away, nuzzled into the hollow of the other's neck. She couldn't tell who that was from where she stood and there was no way she was going any closer because the second person, looking some what worse for wear and a little squashed to boot was unmistakably Professor Snape. Hermione quickly turned around and left, mind ticking over. 


	3. To The Infirmary

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
A/N. Thankyou to those who reviewed. Samson, Severitus, Selua, A Typical Snarry Fan. (  
  
Please if there are any atrocious grammatical or spelling errors, bring them to my attention. I am also into Exams soon (We're just ending the school year in Australia), this may slow down updates but rest assured that I intend to finish this and if I ever change my mind I will let you know, so please do watch this space and updates will occur eventually.  
  
Just another small note, this is set 6th year. Ootp never took place, anything relevant that happened, in 5th year, I'll let you know as we continue. Sirius therefore did not die by falling through the arch thingy.  
Chapter 3 To The Infirmary  
  
Upon the discovery that his student, having used him as both leaning post and facial cloth had now fainted on top of him Severus decided it would be a good idea to deliver his small charge to the infirmary. Upon realising said charge was not breathing he decided to do this, in a panicked and desperate manner. He would have levitated the teen but then he would have needed to use his wand to direct the corpse.-body and would have been unable to throw the very many resuscitation charms that were now assaulting the small form in his arms as he ran to the great well of knowledge and comfort incarnate in Mme. Pomphrey.  
  
Upon reaching the cavernous room filled with beds that was the infirmary, luckily not housing any students at this present moment, Severus desperately called to his co-worker. "Poppy, come quickly, it's Mr. Potter, he's not breathing, Merlin come quick." The form of the middle-aged medi-witch came hurtling in from her office. What she lacked in grace she made up for in speed and so managed to look none the less impressive for all that half her white hair had escaped her hat. "What happened Severus? Was it Malfoy?" "I don't know what it was Poppy, I was with him at the time, it's almost as if he just gave up." He just stood there looking around wildly as Mme. Pomphrey settled Harry into a cot. "Not far from the truth there I think," The medi-witch observed as she attempted a full magical body scan but was unable to complete it. "There's a strong magical force surrounding his body. It's like his whole body has gone into complete stasis, protected by his magic, like a shield resisting my magic and probably physical contact or damage as well, watch." Snape gazed on in morbid fascination as Mm. Pomphrey proceeded to summon a knife from a small table and pressed the scalpel-keen blade to the flesh of one of Harry's palms. By rights this should have bitten through the skin with the slightest pressure, but instead left no mark. "All my charms were ineffective because the magic blocked them." Severus whispered in understanding. "He's not.he's going to be.isn't he?" He was having problems forming those words. "I don't know Severus," Poppy said truthfully "I've never treated this before, considering the nature of this affliction however, that it was not caused by another and with the magical shield, I think it is safe to say that on some level, not necessarily conscious this is what our Harry wanted." Her voice wavered almost indiscernibly but Severus caught it and looked up to see the medi-witch turn her face away, hand covering eyes.  
  
Severus sat heavily in a chair next the bed Harry was in, he noted belatedly that he was going into a state of shock and would probably pass out quite soon, however by this stage he was too far gone to do anything about it and to Mme. Pomphrey's horror dropped unconscious (still breathing though). She levitated him to the closest bed and decided to allow him to come round in his own time, which was, she had heard much more comfortable than the ever popular charms.  
  
Leaving her charges to call the headmaster, Mme. Pomphrey was not there to witness the moment light began to emanate from Harry and circle Severus weaving around him tentatively, almost shyly waiting for an answer from his subconscious, which eventually came in the form of an equally bright light which merged with the first to create a glow much stronger than either, small tendrils wrapping themselves around each body the two connected by one cord attached at the base of each head. Then as suddenly as it had appeared the light faded so that when Mme. Pomphrey returned there was nothing to suggest that anything strange had occurred, bar the fact that Snape was not breathing. Having noticed this for the second time that day Poppy attempted to do a full body scan and failed. Something in her broke and she simply stood holding one of Severus' hands, this was how Albus Dumbledore found her five minutes later.  
  
"According to your own diagnosis Poppy, unless Severus had wanted to he could not have followed Mr Potter, where ever he has gone, it is what he wanted." "Albus just because someone wants something doesn't make it right, many people want to die should we then be happy when they achieve this goal." "They're not dead Poppy." Albus said as calmly as he could, pretending not to hear Mme. Pomphrey's whispered reply, "Not yet." "Mme. Pomphrey, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to formulate a lie that will explain Harry's stay here for an indeterminable amount of time, it must be fool proof or Miss Granger will be sure to pick up any discrepancies, Professor Snape has been called away on family business, and it is not known when he will return, please inform the other staff and any students of this. Both of these patients must be taken to a private room to be cared for, to be visited by no one. Is everything clear." "As crystal headmaster." "If you will excuse me I have a new potions teacher to find, good day Poppy." And with that Albus Dumbledore exited the infirmary.  
  
The announcement that Harry had caught an extremely rare strain of Wizard's flue was received with reactions ranging from the accepting to the slightly sceptical, but this was only caused by the disbelief that something so relatively ordinary could happen to The Harry Potter. And so it was established that Harry would be absent for quite sometime and in quarantine. If anyone thought that the news of Severus Snape's urgent family business was strange they didn't mention it, almost everyone had just assumed he didn't have a family.  
  
*Well that's the 3rd chapter Please R/R  
  
You know you want to.  
  
Hugs ~Liadan Di~ 


	4. Memory

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
This is the new and improved chapter 4, hopefully less confusing. I just got back from my trip yesterday and am trying to recover from the 8 hour time difference, sigh. Hope your festive season was more relaxing than mine.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, includes some past SS/LM  
  
If you are of the school of thought that Lucius is straight or possibly going to be a reformed sinner, you're not going to like this.  
  
With the rating, at the moment it's R just for the themes, torture maybe rape later, ect. This will turn out to be HP/SS slash, though how far that will go remains to be seen, plz bare in mind that this is my first fanfiction of this or any kind. If it does go far I'll 'up' the rating, not that I can really say, no one under 18 should read it, since I'm 16 and writing it.  
  
Thanks to those who reviewed! Kristendotcom, darkanglefrmhell, KittenBabyGirl, Cassa-Andra, Garner, Obsidian-Dragon-Pheonix, Arwen Rayne, Lady Lightning, Selua (all will be, if somewhat lamely revealed, but not now(.), Lord Havok's Minion and shaltayen.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 4 Memory  
  
He was floating, yet he felt no magical influence, this source of power was foreign, yet so strong. In the background he heard screaming, a child screaming for mercy, it sounded familiar, one of his own many assignments, oh yes, he remembered.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Dark eyes looked at him innocently as he entered one of the upper level rooms of the house, and there she was, barely five, Hanabi he recalled, her name decoratively lettered across her cot, a lovely child, sweet, a honey bee. He wondered if her parents called her that.  
  
Then she spoke, "Are yoo a fwend of Mamma o' Dada? They're jus' 'long the hallway." She spoke too loudly.  
  
Lucius came up behind him, entwining his arms around Severus's waist and purred in his ear "Thanks for waiting for me, you can kill the muggle brat now, I'll watch." With that he drew back Severus's hood and latched onto his neck with force and enthusiasm. Severus took a shaky breath, which he knew Lucius would misinterpret for lust as opposed to revulsion and raised his a wand at the girl, who was looking at them curiously.  
  
Realisation seemed to dawn on her eventually and she giggled, "Yoo're in luv" as only a small child can.  
  
Lucius raised his head and smiled predatorily, "Believe me child, this has nothing to do with love, now do it Severus, I'm getting bored."  
  
He steadied himself preparing his voice so that it would be absolutely calm and began the killing curse "Avada Ke."  
  
"No you fool, not straight away, lets have some fun." Lucius said in exasperation. Severus considered, his idea of having fun with a child such as this would be to conjure up some large colourful butterflies for her to look at, or give her a soft serve ice cream and watch her attempt to eat it without getting it everywhere. Lucius's idea of fun was different and he knew what was expected of him.  
  
"Crucio".  
  
She screamed and begged until her throat was so sore that it made no sound, and her tiny body just gave up. Severus turned in Lucius's despised embrace, wrapping his arms around the Malfoy's porcelain neck and kissed him full force, just as he was dying inside. Lucius smiled into the contact and drew back.  
  
"You know they have three children."  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Severus was back to the nothingness again and screamed.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
The Slytherin common room was nearly deserted, in a corner a particularly brutal chess match was being held between a couple of second years. Lounging languidly along a green leather couch two old friends, a sharp faced blond and auburn haired beauty discussed the strangeness of certain events.  
  
"Zambini, I wasn't aware that Snape had any family. In fact if I remember correctly he was orphaned." The addressed girl pursed her lips at the use of last names but made nothing of it.  
  
"That's what I thought Draco, but I could be wrong you know, one of those things you take for granted. Snape seems barely human, let alone a man with 'family concerns', they'll be telling us he has children next."  
  
"Hardly likely, Father told me he was a raging queer." Blaise then did a stunning rendition of the 'It takes one to know one cough'. "What was that Zambini?"  
  
"Nothing Draco, maybe you should write to your father."  
  
"Hmm, my correspondence with him is being intercepted, but what harm will it do if I ask about this?"  
  
"Probably nothing."  
  
"What about that old saying, curiosity killed the cat?" Draco asked, raising one perfect eyebrow and giving a rare smile.  
  
"It would have to be the ferret for it to be relevant to you."  
  
"I hate you Zambini."  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Ron had sook out Hermione in the library where he found her reading a surprisingly short medical journal (weighing only a couple of stone) on the various strains of wizarding flue. He crept up behind her slipping his arms around her waist. Hermione jumped, pulled out of her reverie with the suddenness of a bucket of cold water being emptied over the head. She allowed herself to lean back slightly into the contact, smiling though Ron couldn't see it. She then acted as she always did in public, as if nothing was happening and began, as usual, to talk. "I'm not really surprised by this thing with Professor Snape, he was acting really weird today. He kept on staring at Harry, maybe he's off on a mission for the order."  
  
"I don't know 'Mione, maybe it's just what they said." Said Ron surprised at the strength of conviction in her voice.  
  
"Oh nonsense Ron don't be daft, Snape's an orphaned, only child." Was the matter of fact reply.  
  
"And you keep telling me to give him a break, what about you, how do you know? Just because he's an oversized bat and greasy git extraordinaire, does not mean he has no family. I mean, he had to come from somewhere."  
  
"Of course he did Ron, I wasn't implying that."  
  
"Then what were you implying."  
  
"That all his family has been dead for about 400 hundred years, of course." Hermione looked up and over her shoulder at him, her face entirely calm and serious, as if the information she had given him was so obvious he should have guessed it.  
  
"What?" Ron was tired, why did everything always have to be so complicated.  
  
"Professor Snape is a vampire."  
  
"Hermione, what the, how does that work, how did you find that out."  
  
"I'll explain properly later, as to how I found out, are you sure you want to know." Ron shuddered, he didn't. "I'll tell you any way, it was in a book called A Historical Guide To Wizard Persecution."  
  
"I'm still not following."  
  
"That doesn't matter, what matters right now is that we know Dumbledore lied."  
  
"Oh conspiracy theory," Ron instantly brightened "cool."  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Draco, To answer your query Severus is an orphaned, only child and has no remotely close relatives, of any kind. Why do you ask? Any information will be appreciated. If anything important at your school occurs, inform me immediately, your duty to me requires no less, as a governor I need to be well informed. Lucius  
  
The blond man signed the letter with a flourish. Draco was his son and only heir, but if what he suspected was true it would not save him.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Zambini, Your information regarding the school and Mr. Potter's condition has been useful. Regarding the dragon, I want your ears open and mouth closed. Any strange activity must be reported. There are rewards for those who stay true, remember where your loyalties lie. ~L  
  
The girl smiled coldly, but her eyes were sad. Lucius needn't have worried, she knew where her loyalties lay, damned, but she knew.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
"There are things we all wish we could forget Severus, but what about forgive?" That voice was Harry's, he recognised the edge in it, the understanding behind it.  
  
"She was innocent, not involved."  
  
"You didn't have a choice."  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"I've seen what they do when you don't do what is expected."  
  
"My life was not worth hers."  
  
"Perhaps not, but the lives you saved were so many more."  
  
"So I am worthless."  
  
"Never say that, you're brave, you continually risk your life to save others, quite un-Slytherin of you really."  
  
*Well that's the 4th chapter, Please Reveiw  
  
You know you want to.  
  
Hugs ~Liadan Di~ 


	5. Discovery

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/reference to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets.  
  
This is a pre-emptive strike- Requests to make this end up HP/DM will be ignored as will threesome requests. Sorry that's just how it is.  
  
With the rating, at the moment it's R just for the themes, torture maybe rape later, ect. This will turn out to be HP/SS slash, though how far that will go remains to be seen, plz bare in mind that this is my first fanfiction of this or any kind.  
  
Yes that's right I'm back, you poor, poor people. Cambodia was cool but depressing. England was climatically cool(no surprises there) and Germany was even cooler. I am now lounging in inadequate air-conditioning in the dingy back water(- the water) affectionately known as Western Australia, and sadly enough I'll be commencing my final year of school in a week, Oh the Humanity!  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 5 Discovery  
  
They had fallen into silence when Harry heard it, barely a whisper.  
  
"I did have a choice, Harry." He couldn't believe what he was hearing, stunned to silence, the other continued.  
  
"At this point in my history I had no obligations or loyalties to Dumbledore. I'm afraid that you like many, are suffering under the common delusion that I joined Voldemort initially with the intention of becoming a spy. I'm afraid even the theories about me going on my first Death Eater rave and running, like a child back to the Headmaster aren't true. I joined for a very specific reason to 'fight' for the supremacy of the wizard race, and all that entailed."  
  
"Were you there when my parents were killed?"  
  
"Yes but as a spy."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'd changed by then. The episode with that little girl was, let's just say the turning point, in a long career of bloodshed."  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
"Mr. Malfoy." The Gryffindor Head of House successfully masked her surprise.  
  
"Professor Mac Gonnagal, I was wondering whether it would be possible for me to talk to the Headmaster, in the absence of Professor Snape, who would usually counsel me in this matter."  
  
"I'm sure the Headmaster could find time," she said, with an attempt at a maternal smile "He'll understand if you have not yet reached the required level of familiarity with his, uh, temporary replacement, Madame Hooch." They were playing a game and she didn't quite know the rules but what was the harm, Mr. Malfoy was not yet a dangerous wizard. She resolved to spy on the meeting.  
  
"Thankyou Professor." The child smiled at her, something was up. The Deputy headmistress of Hogwarts walked ahead of the blond boy, as if she was leading though he knew the way.  
  
"Mint Humbugs" Iterated the Professor sourly, she hated the use of sweet names as passwords, a security risk, she was sure. In addition it seemed irreverent, lacking respect, though Albus had once said to her "You do not know you are truly respected until your beard is half in your soup and not one child out of a thousand laughs." She smiled at the memory and ushered Malfoy in.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, I've been expecting you." Dumbledore smiled serenely at the teen in front of him.  
  
"Really Headmaster? I was wondering could we have a chat?"  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Blaise lounged lazily in the Slytherin common room, well not actually lazily, that was merely the intended impression for the passing observer. Eyes half lidded, like a cat pretending to sleep under a tree full of birds. Her mind reeled at a hundred miles an hour. She knew where Draco was, what he was up to. She knew where her loyalties lay, and though she did not want to admit it, it was not with herself.  
  
"Draco." Statement not question, she knew his presence even as he moved through the portrait hole. "Where have you been, there I was looking for you, to accuse you of being a traitor to our cause, and where were you? Inconsiderate, that's what it is." The room was silent; the Malfoy/Zambini spats were a thing of legend, behind what appeared (deceptively) to be the united Slytherin front.  
  
"Hello Mother, how was your day?" Draco spat back maliciously, had she felt anything anymore Blaise would have flinched at such venom from her oldest friend.  
  
"We need to talk," Announced Blaise, standing to her full 5'11 abruptly. This was all the warning anyone got as she barged down the stairs to the girls dormitory with Draco in tow. One look of predatory dominance and the word 'skat', sent the pug faced Pansy squealing out of the room. "Here we are, is this not nice, now sit down and tell me why you have betrayed your Lord, your Family and um," and me, she thought sadly, "your Honour."  
  
"Slytherins have no honour, our loyalties are all our own, or haven't you been listening to the Gryffindor insults from the last five and a half years." Deciding this conversation may take a while Draco sat down on one of the large beds.  
  
"Some of us do." Blaise muttered bitterly, gazing at the floor.  
  
"And I can tell you're happy aren't you, you're no better than a Gryffindor, honestly Blaise, it is not who you are loyal to that makes you like one of those sorry losers, it's that you're loyal at all." He stood up and cupped her face making her stare into his eyes, "What do you really want, what will make you happy?" One shuddering breath and meaningful look later she answered.  
  
"It doesn't matter what I want, now to the matter at hand." Her tone was suddenly business like as she outlined the situation. They both remained standing. "I'm going to inform your father of your defection two days from now, I would advise you contact your house-elves to appropriate anything you want from Malfoy manner and to bring it here. The moment my letter reaches him, the wards on your house will probably be designed to do unpleasant things to you should you cross them and your possessions will go under lock and key. You will also no longer have any funding as your father will certainly disown you. If I were you I'd make sure to get anything in my possession that's worth something, heirlooms especially, your father will pay highly to get them back from you."  
  
"To what do I owe the assistance?" His gaze was soulful, searching.  
  
"You should be happy. I'm being true to myself, just for a second." She gave a wavering smile. Her eyes were moistening he noted with satisfaction. He had been disappointed that his hold on the girl had not been so strong that he could get her to defect, but watching her tear herself from the inside out was almost as good. Almost. He couldn't resist drawing a bit for tears. Trying to get an emotionally distraught girl to cry was like taking candy from a baby. But in Draco's opinion it was worth it, he desired this candy, and anything Draco desired.  
  
"Of course you understand, being on the opposite sides of the war and all that we can't possibly be together." He stated the comment emotionlessly, nonchalantly and allowed it to destroy her little world. Watching with (masked) satisfaction as she sank to her knees, he followed lifting her chin so that her now tear streaked face was directed at him. He brushed his lips across her cheekbones as if kissing away her sadness, savouring the bitterness he'd created. If he played his cards right he'd get break-up sex, and he knew how to play his cards.  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
Minerva walked into the headmaster's office in nervous excitement; the developments she had spied upon had been significant indeed.  
  
"Ah, Minerva. Lemon drop? No. Something a bit stronger then?" He asked producing a well-seasoned bottle of fire-whiskey. "Celebrate with me our achievement."  
  
"Excuse me Professor, what are we celebrating?"  
  
"Are we pretending you didn't eavesdrop on the conversation between Mr. Malfoy and I?"  
  
"Of course Albus, that would be an enormous breach of the young man's privacy." She replied summoning an appropriate haughtiness to her voice. Dumbledore smiled indulgently.  
  
"Well then Minerva celebrate with me. When the ship begins to sink, the rats begin to leave, and Draco Malfoy is one hell of a rat." 


	6. Convicta Et Combusta

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/reference to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets. I work with these characters on the assumption that most of them are bi-sexual. Ok, statistically it's only one in four or something, it is however fun and more likely than the fanfictions in which everybody seems to be exclusively gay.  
  
The witch trial I describe is hopefully reasonably accurate according to the practices in Scotland during the 17th Century. I got most of my information from the book The Trials Of The Lancashire Witches by E.Peel and P.Southern. Quotes from the study of witchcraft by James 1st of England are probably from his major work on the subject, Demonology.  
  
As it seems customary to tell people what you were listening to when you write a chapter the pieces of the day were: Death Scene from the Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack, Fear (rabbit in the moon dance remix) by Sarah Mac Lachlan and finally Enae Volare Mezzo by Era.  
  
Flames will not be ignored, in fact they will read with much excitement, copied and pasted onto a document and then e-mailed to my friends. I don't have many hobbies, but laughing at other people's expense is one of my favourites.  
  
With the rating, at the moment it's R just for the themes, torture maybe rape later, ect. This will turn out to be HP/SS slash, though how far that will go remains to be seen, please bare in mind that this is my first fanfiction of this or any kind.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 6 Convicta Et Combusta  
  
'...they should be consumed by fire-yet in every country according to the law and custom thereof, but regardless of sex, age or rank. Bairns, because of their less and ignorant age, might be excused.'- James 1st of England, 6th of Scotland.  
  
And so Severus was spared, watching, too young, lucky.  
  
The Bellman had walked around the town that very morning. "Who ever has complaint against a woman that she may be a witch bring her to town hall that she may be examined." His eyes glinted in an anticipatory way. He surveyed the clusters of people as they bustled around the small homes and stalls for market day. The highlands were less than warm even this time of year, yet this lady and her child dressed as if for the very most southern point of England, the lady's head without a scarf and her dark hair falling down her back. To be fair she conducted herself with perfect modesty, it would not save her this time. "Mrs. Snape," He approached smiling politely bowing as customary. She returned with a short half-curtsy "I wonder may I have the pleasure of your company as I walk to the next village. I understand that is where you and your son," he sparred a quick glance at Severus, who scowled "currently live."  
  
"I thank you but I am staying in town all this day and the next with my younger sister. So I am unable to be company to you. Good day to you." Sonora Snape turned on her heal with a brief nod in his direction, small boy trailing behind her like a duckling. She breathed a sigh of relief, yet another successful escape from the skirt grabbing witchpricker of a man. He ran his bell. A fresh wave of foreboding swept her slight body but she kept walking determinedly towards the house of her good friend, adored son in tow.  
  
"I will bring Mrs. Sonora Snape to the town hall for examination for 'tis my belief that she and her son are both witches, that they both renounce God and yield themselves wholly to the Devil." Whispers raced around the market and Sonora turned and faced her accuser, shoulders squared and it was all Severus could do to follow her without shaking.  
  
"Listen to me," his mother hissed quietly "you must denounce me, become a believer, and a convincing one at that."  
  
"But you are not the Devil's whore mother, why must I lie?"  
  
"They will never believe me but there is a chance you could get out of this unscathed. I set bones straight and true, you've never had a cold and not one mother or child has ever died under my hand when I was working as a midwife. Never be happy, healthy or successful or people will think there's something wrong with you. Now I'll confess but you must plead your innocence. You remember the lords prayer," She waited for a nod to the affirmative, "well make sure to say it. Here," she held out the wooden crucifix she kept in her pocket to him but, as it touched his hand he hissed in pain, "Oh dear, just hope they don't ask you to hold one and if they do, for Merlin's sake act as though it doesn't hurt." He gave her a strange look at the words she used, why didn't she say for God's sake like everyone else?  
  
By now they had caught up to the Bellringer and his face was filled with an expression that could only be described as lust, though for his mother or for blood Severus could not tell. "I love you child," His mother pressed her hand over her heart, then fleetingly to her lips and finally rested her hand in what could only seem a sign of benediction upon his forehead. For a second he stood stock still, eyes shut, barely able to breathe for the feeling of love washing through him. Upon opening his eyes Severus realised that she had begun walking on, toward the Town Hall and as always, he followed.  
  
A quick confession, that was her plan. Get it over with, torture was something she was less than willing to endure in the final moments of her life. That was what these moments were she thought, enjoying the feel of grass and heather under her light sandals, giving a spring to her step even as she walked on to certain death. The Bellringer walked beside her with a firm grip on her upper arm. If only she could apparate. Simple potions, that was all she could manage, no incantations, the simple mixtures and decantations. A squib, not useful, though her cooking was exemplary. But without magic she might still be able to save her son. As they past the priest she spat at his feet, that would be noted. As they walked into the Hall she saw she was not the only woman there. She was ushered into a side-room; she would be first. Initially she was shaven and not carefully, if she still had half her right ear left she would be lucky. She was pushed naked to the centre of the main hall. Her beloved knelt, restrained. Severus would not look at his her but prayed fervently, a convincing display, a child praying for his mother's soul. As she passed she spat at the ground before him yelling "Priest's whore." It was a convincing act if she did say so herself, inwardly she smiled. She allowed herself to be pushed back onto the large table where the Bellringer stood, holding an impressively sharp implement. Witchpricker. She silently prayed to any higher power up there that this would be entirely put on. That the pin headed straight for her inner thigh was retractable. It wasn't. She cried out in pain and doubled her resolve to stay silent the next time. They were looking for the Devil's wound. It had to be completely insensitive, she must not react or they would do this until she passed out. She waited for the next stab, as it came she suppressed the shudder, the gasp the scream.  
  
"Feel you nothing, whore." Exclaimed the Bellringer.  
  
"No, nothing at all." She replied. 


	7. Are You There?

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/ or current references to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW, HG/GW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets. Will now possibly include BZ/GW, and SB/DM.  
  
For the purposes of my story OOTP never happened. I want Sirius alive, so I can kill him in a much more painful manner, he died too quickly and easily in the book.  
  
A new chapter, aren't holidays the greatest thing ever! Thankyou Jesus (literally, Easter break etc.) This one is dedicated to anyone who has been bothered to review. I love you. This all said I don't read f/f very often, even entirely non-graphic as this is, please bare this in mind and send CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
"..."speech '...'thought  
  
  
Chapter 7 Are You There?  
  
There is nothing, it has been reflected, more annoying than breaking up, and badly at that with someone you really love and then watching as they move on...and become happy. It is worse however when you are then expected to share this happiness, be happy for them. Add then to this general equation, that that person who makes them happy is your own kin.  
  
...  
  
"Hermione" Ginny moaned that name, worshipped it in her sleep, as she dreamed of a worship more physical. The redhead was not simply fantasizing, but remembering. Youth and experimentation are a potent combination.  
  
... The sun shone brightly and the grass underfoot gleamed with dew. "You know Ginny you should try out for quidditch, I think you'd do really well, especially with all that practice you got in with the boys this couple of months." Hermione's cheeks were flushed as she and Ginny walked towards the Burrow having gone out for a bit of a 'fly around'. "Yeah, maybe, Race you back? Ready. Lets go." Ginny ran slowly at first, giving her friend time to realise what was happening but once the brunette registered and reacted appropriately it was on. Ginny was laughing so hard she could barely breath, looking at the ground as she followed the older girl. Hermione turned and watched in amusement as Ginny tried to catch up, running around after Harry on all his misadventures did wonders for a girl's fitness. The ensuing collision would have been obvious to anyone watching, by the time Hermione realised what was imminent it was too late. The ground was surprisingly soft, Ginny noted in confusion, and warm with it, opening her eyes she realised she was effectively straddled by the other girl whose breath was coming in short puffs like she'd run a mile not 40feet. Ginny had the sudden incredible urge to kiss her, supporting herself with one of her hands next to the other girls head the other being drawn inexplicably to Hermione's waist.  
  
The kiss was not sweet, it was not confused, and once their lips touched they knew something real and strong had been created, a bond that pulled them together. Never underestimate the lust of the teenage girl; it seems forgotten by many, yet it is a powerful thing. It began suddenly, that was its nature, sudden. Suddenly being together was the most important thing, suddenly Ginny pushed Hermione up against walls in corridors after dinner, during lunch. Any time could be 'alone time'. Then suddenly it stopped. After 5 months Hermione stopped wanting to hold hands under the Gryffindor table, stopped wanting to sneak into deserted classrooms. Ginny was too dominating, too demanding. She needed space, she needed to find herself. On the way she found Seamus, Neville and finally Ron.  
  
But as Ginny slept she didn't remember these things, just the good times, just the feel of Hermione under her, in her control and loving it.  
  
....  
  
"Potter, are you there?" "Yes professor, I just didn't know what to say, she screamed...so loudly." For some reason it relieved him, to know someone was there, had been watching. "I thought you'd gone." "I didn't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything, it is almost literally ancient history." 'That was a joke Severus, don't reveal you have a sense of humour he'll never cringe away in fear again.' He chided himself. "You know, I'd say I understand, why you hate muggles that is, but you'd probably bite my head off," 'See Severus, that was definitely light hearted, give an inch and they take a mile.' "Or maybe you'd just suck me dry," 'What the fuck?!' Severus's mental 'ears' pricked up at that, 'There is no way he said that.' "My blood, that is...seeing as you're a vampire." 'It makes sense, that had better have been accidental!'  
  
...  
  
The Gryffindor common room was unsurprisingly deserted. It was unsurprising because it was 2am and cold with it. Two figures sat huddled on one of the soft love seats near the fire, which the brunette had revived with an effective house-warming charm. "I'm worried Hermione, Ginny is acting so aggressively towards the both of us. She's never been like this ever. I mean she's such a sweet girl, wouldn't hurt a fly, so shy. I mean you saw her when she was around Harry the past couple of years." Hermione reflected that there were a few memories she had that could very easily change the red head's delusions about his 'little' sister. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about Ron, you know teenage girls, you're surrounded by them." "Yeah I know Mione, but you were never this bad," She elbowed him playfully "but then again you're not normal, I'm uh, I'm very lucky." It was said with so much feeling that she could say a thing but took his hand in hers and lent in for a gentle kiss. He smiled into the contact. "You're perfect Miss Hermione Granger and one day I'ma goin' ta marry you." The accent was deliberately silly, cute. They hadn't talked much about the future. Normally it would be assumed that they wouldn't need to, being only fifteen. It was not however for this reason that they were so restrained, with the war impending neither was sure there would be a future and if there was, whether they would both be in it. And so they made no plans except separately in their minds, hoping to Merlin that one day they would be able to share them with each other.  
  
Feed the Author R and R You know you want to! * hugs * Liadan Di 


	8. The Truth of Light and dark

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/ or current references to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW, HG/GW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets. Will now possibly include BZ/GW, and SB/DM.  
  
For the purposes of my story OOTP never happened. The Order does exist. I want Sirius alive, so I can kill him in a much more painful manner, he died too quickly and easily in the book.  
  
Yay for the holidays! If you've just started reading, I do not usually update more than once a month, sorry, final year, evil exams but I do try, do not expect updates this fast normally.  
  
I hope this is not getting too soap-operatic for people, I just feel that human relationships are not cut and dry and in times of war things just get worse. If you're wondering why most of the characters seem to be bi, it's because A) it's more interesting that way and B) it's much more likely (statistically) than almost everyone being gay (bi ¼, gay 1/11)  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
"..."speech '...'thought  
  
Chapter 8 The Truth of Light and Dark  
  
"You know Professor my history is rather hazy, I usually sleep through history of magic, when and where did all this happen?"  
  
"You're lucky I can't take points in my current state Mr. Potter, such blatant disrespect for you teacher, as well as general almost unforgivable ignorance."  
  
"I'm sssso sssssorry ssssir," 'He's drawling, that little imp.' "Could you explain still, if I'm so ignorant than obviously I need some instruction."  
  
"I suppose since there's little else here," he was referring to void he seemed to be in "My mother was a intelligent beautiful lady but a squib, she had a talent for potions which could be prepared without the use of incantations. As a healer she was second to none by comparison to the muggles, they did not have her recipes or her skills. She was a pure blood but, being a squib she was not included fully into the family and it's affairs, instead they set her up in a cottage in a small village near their estate. This was all in the highlands of Scotland, though I have forgotten exactly where, the memories are, I should imagine quite effectively repressed."  
  
"How long ago...when were you there." This came nervously. Severus suddenly felt his years.  
  
"I've been alive for over three hundred years Harry." There was a heaviness in his tone that distracted Harry almost to the point that he did not notice that Snape had used his name, almost. "My father is dead." he said suddenly, not wishing for the question to be asked, "When I finally got to Hogwarts I found a blood call spell in the restricted section but there was no response."  
  
"How did you stay alive so long? Why have you started to age now? Is it glamour? I don't understand." It seemed to come out almost as a whine but since Harry was his only company Severus decided to humour him. "Are you sure you want to know Potter, I'm giving you an out now, an opportunity for the ignorance is bliss approach." He was nervous about this, not sure that he wanted to tell but on the other of the coin, this was a chance to talk about it, perhaps his last. He was not sure what had happened to their bodies or whether he would ever leave this void.  
  
"I'm sure Professor, it may surprise you to know that I have faced hard truths before." Had he been able to 'see' Harry, he was sure a wry smile would be have played briefly on his lips.  
  
"In my carrier as a young half vamp on my own you'll understand that I ate, a lot. Being a half blood means that unless you feed, you age. I only aged naturally three years in three hundred Harry, that's a lot of people, when the headmaster found me I must have had two thousand people on my then none- existent conscience." He was speaking fast wanting it to be over as fast as possible. "I have only aged entirely naturally since I began to attend this school. The headmaster had my fangs removed, though I promise him I wouldn't touch any of my peers, in retrospect it was a good move. Blood is a potent drug, my withdrawal symptoms were somewhat severe, needless to say I was not exactly sociable in my first two years, in fact I was snarky, now it's a habit but at the time it was a constant irritable mood due to the lack of blood in my system. It will surprise you to know it did not win me any friends." All Harry had really heard was two thousand, two thousand people. Severus took the silence as rejection and went quiet, for along time they were lost with their emotions.  
  
"You came to the light, in the end." That was all Harry could think to say.  
  
"Yes, like a moth to the flame, it will be the end of me."  
  
"Better an end in the light than in the darkness, the darkness is lonely." He thought of the darkness he had found himself in, the guilt, but it was nothing really comparatively speaking.  
  
"This darkness isn't." 'Why did I say that?'  
  
"To be alone is darkness, but you are not alone, this place is really full of light, if only you allow yourself to see it." In any other circumstance Harry would have remained quiet but he couldn't, he had to reach out, some how. Suddenly it was light, Severus looked around him, he was practically floating in it and it all came from Harry, who smiled at him warmly.  
  
"Not alone." Neither was sure who said it or whether it was the both of them together but perhaps it would all be Ok, for the moment. Then it was all gone everything went black and they were both alone.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Sir?"  
  
They both cried out but no answer came.  
  
...  
  
A Cliffy sorta you probably know what's happened  
  
R&R, feed the author, or I will come after your blood  
  
* hugs * Liadan Di 


	9. Changes

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/ or current references to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW, HG/GW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets. Will now possibly include BZ/GW, and SB/DM.  
  
Yes, well despite the call of study I * sigh * found the time to continue, you had better love me for this.  
  
If this bares any resemblance to your or someone else's story, it was not intentional and I'm very sorry it's not very original.  
  
Chapter 9 Changes  
  
There was a cry of surprise from Mme. Pomphrey as she walked into the room holding the school's most unpopular Professor and it's most popular student. They had moved. Just a little, mind, nothing anyone would normally notice. She was however not one of Britain's best medi-witches for nothing, in many cases the smallest of observations are the most critical. She performed a magical body scan and was disappointed to see that nothing much had changed. A slight weakening of the shield, and when she held a knife to Harry's finger it made a momentary depression before coming back in place.  
  
...  
  
"Headmaster, things are moving along I believe." Albus raised his eyebrows in surprise at this statement.  
  
"Perhaps if I knew to what you referred, I could be of more help." This was stated deliberately and he looked at her meaningfully, the corridor was not safe to discuss anything that merited her accosting him immediately.  
  
"I am referring to the potions and energy supplies in the long term ward, perhaps we should discuss this there." She said this firmly and with a look behind her she was on her way to wards the Great Hall where they were both expected to appear for tea, she was never late and resolved to make sure that no one considered this night to be any different on her account.  
  
"I will discuss this with you directly after dinner." He called to her smoothly, she turned on her heal and said with a nearly forced smile  
  
"Of course Albus, as you wish."  
  
...  
  
Despite her resolve to act as if nothing was wrong, Mme. Pomphrey couldn't sit still, their was just nothing to do about it, eating was just not interesting, she wanted to know what the Headmaster would glean from the changes. This did not go unnoticed. Somehow her years as a friend of the boy who lived had given Hermione the experience to pick up on these sorts of things. Perhaps it had something to do with Harry's illness, if there was such a thing.  
  
...  
  
The library was quiet the evil eye of Mme. Pince was swift to fall on any who dared speak above a decibel. Between to crowded bookshelves a redhead was very confused. "Mione why are we here?"  
  
"I needed to talk with you." She whispered. Ordinarily Ron would have been thrilled to be stuck close between to bookshelves with hi girlfriend but he had the feeling that this wasn't about 'that', he was right. "Do you think they'd tell us?"  
  
"What?" He asked thoroughly confused and somewhat inappropriately aroused by the whole sneaking around thing.  
  
"If," Suddenly he detected a sob in her voice, "If something had happened to Harry." He was worried for his best friend as well but unlike Hermione, he had confidence in the headmaster.  
  
"Don't worry love. I'm sure that it was of great concern we would have been informed, along with Sirius we're pretty much his family and they'd have to tell us."  
  
"Sirius, Ron you're a genius, we'll owl him and ask him what he knows. Surely the headmaster wouldn't keep anything from him." She was so happy and relieved that she did what comes naturally to a muggle born girl who's watched to many teen romances. She stood on tiptoe, flung her arms around Ron's neck and was just about to snog him senseless when her spider senses tingled, she was being watched. Opening her eyes and looking over Ron's shoulder she saw brown eyes staring at her from other side of the bookcase. "Ginny" she breathed.  
  
"Gin, where, oh hay sis! Didn't see you." All he got was a nod of acknowledgment and her eyes were back on Hermione.  
  
"You know we haven't spoken for quite a while I was wondering whether Herm and I could have a chat," her smile nearly reached her eyes but not quite. Ron felt the girl in question tense in his arms.  
  
"What's the rush Gin? We're busy." He tried and failed to lighten the oppressive weight the very air around them had suddenly become.  
  
"Oh you know, girls stuff," She said with a curve of the lips that gave him the impression that the statement meant something different to her. "I sooooo value her friendship, it's like we're sisters, maybe she said looking between the two, "we will be." A voice from behind Ginny startled her.  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't allow you to have this little conversation, even if it is only with the books, whilst other people are trying to work productively in silence." Ginny turned to Mme. Pince and smiled politely.  
  
"Another time then." She said this in the direction of the bookcase. The Librarian just raised an eyebrow as the redhead moved past her. Ron felt Hermione's weight as she practically fell against him, burrowing her face into his chest.  
  
"Some day maybe you'll tell me?" He whispered into her hair, kissing her hair lightly.  
  
"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." He felt her smile against his chest. She'd be Ok.  
  
...  
  
At the table where she sat working productively in silence Blaise Zabini heard the whole exchange. Perhaps the Gryffindor's were like her own house, the front was united. The façade perfectly decorated but the walls at the sides and 'round the back were crumbling. Watching as weasel girl left there was something about her, a predatory stealth in the way she had handled the other two, in the way she walked and her measured conversation. If she had chosen sides she might be on the wrong one, if she'd chosen.  
  
...  
  
"What have you got for me Poppy." The headmaster's eyes were sparkling, not with their usual merriment but with apprehension.  
  
"They'd moved when I came in this morning, moved Albus."  
  
"Had anyone been in? Was there any indication, any sign..."  
  
"My wards were intact, no one had come, I promise you. They moved by themselves and their shield are weakening."  
  
"What ever they needed, what ever this was for, it must be moving. They must be closer to achieving what ever it was, what ever their subconscious's wanted, they must be close. They could wake at any time, they must not be allowed to leave this room," he was pacing now stroking his beard in a most thoughtful and comical fashion, "We must ward the doors so that they can not leave without us, I need to know the moment they wake." He looked affectionately at the two sleeping figures. "You were able to get some results from the body scan, can you set a charm to alert the two of us when they wake."  
  
"Probably Sir, I'll try"  
  
"Good, we'll get to the bottom of this eventually Poppy, you'll see."  
  
Well here it is  
  
Sorta, anyways...  
  
Next time more hp/ss interaction  
  
Minds out of gutters, talking  
  
R&R * hugs * Liadan Di 


	10. Wake Up Call, Scream

HP/SS pairing, don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: Own not, profit not, sue not.  
  
A/N. Just a warning, story includes some/past/ or current references to SS/LM, DM/BZ, HP/DM, HG/RW, HG/GW and maybe more, the more I think about this and write about this the more screwed up it gets. Will now possibly include BZ/GW, and SB/DM.  
  
For the purposes of my story OOTP never happened. The Order does exist. I want Sirius alive, so I can kill him in a much more painful manner, he died too quickly and easily in the book.  
  
Writing this I was listening to the album Meteora by Linkin Park, Unwell by  
  
Matchbox 20 and one of my romantic favourites Why don't you and I by Santana.  
  
Ah, alas the holidays are drawing to an end, this story will continue to be updated but not as often as it has been. I am not trying to leave you hanging I will even write without reviews, though the concept is depressing. Hopefully this will be alright, but I haven't gone over it as much as I usually do since I'm getting it out ASAP. Thankyou to all those who did review, I freely acknowledge that this story is weird, I hope you can all deal with that and still enjoy.  
  
"..."speech '...'thought  
  
So yeah, here's chapter 10 does the * I have 10 chapters dance *  
  
Chapter 10 Wake Up Call/Scream  
  
Harry was alone, all alone. It was funny somehow it bothered him, having been as distant as he had with those around him, he was barely more alone now. But there was this one thing, this niggling feeling. He was missing something, someone. He was missing his Professor. Severus had brought out something in him he hadn't felt in a very long time. Like he was sure everyone, Harry had his good and bad sides. The man had treated him normally, he'd shared things about himself that the teen could scarce believe, and he'd told him. Severus I'm-the-king-of-Slytherin-You-don't- have-shit-on-me Snape had opened up to him.  
  
...  
  
"Harry?" Oh yes this was simply fantastic. The irony of the situation made itself perfectly clear to him. He was a very singular man, Severus Snape, not exactly surrounded constantly by friends or family, and relationships well, who needs them anyway? So when he had ended up being stuck with Harry, the contact, tentative as it was, was far more than he had been used to, the sharing of simple yet disturbing truths. Now alone again, he was not so sure that he was content for life to resume as it had. Perhaps when this was over...  
  
Harry had not judged him...  
  
If anyone had been in his infirmary ward they would have seen Severus Snape smile.  
  
...  
  
Harry didn't want this anymore, he couldn't do it. He'd been alone for too much of his life, orphaned and friendless for almost 11 years, followed be shaky friendships. He couldn't blame Ron or Hermione for the doubts he was sure they were having, even though they cared about him deeply. In their situation he would be the same. Fifth year had been terrible, by the time Ron and Hermione had truly gotten over what had happened Harry was too far gone to care. He knew as friends of his they were at risk, he tried to dissociate them from his public image. He was going to have that conversation with them when, if he got back. Briefly his mind turned to the physical world. He had been in no hurry to return it was so good for just a second not to be in exams or about to do battle or dodging paparazzi. But that was when Severus had been there. He didn't think it was a good idea for him to be left to his own thoughts. Harry screamed.  
  
...  
  
Contrary to popular belief there were days when even the great Albus Dumbledore felt that he would rather not have gotten out of bed. This was one of those days. Sitting in his office playing games with the Minister of Magic was not one of his occupations of choice.  
  
"Headmaster Dumbledore, even if it were true that the Dark Lord had returned, tell me, exactly how would it benefit the public to know this. Do you believe mass public hysteria is likely to aid this possibly non- existent cause."  
  
"A student saw him rematerialise."  
  
"One who has questionable mental stability." Fudge was enjoying this, they were both aware that he wasn't going to do or change anything but Albus wanted to give the fool a chance.  
  
"There have of course been the attacks, with the sign."  
  
"Isolated acts of terrorism, with the same aim as you seem to have, to scare the wizarding community. Perhaps you should work together." Fudge smiled pleasantly as he sipped his tea.  
  
"How much do you know about the deatheater revival?" Veritaserum was a wonderful thing. Suddenly he felt the pull, one of the patients in the private ward was awake. "I'm afraid that we actually don't have time for this conversation, if you would please bring up the other agendas for this meeting we can dispense with them as quickly as possible."  
  
"If what you say is true, what exactly do you propose to do about it. I memory serves the mighty Albus Dumbledore, though brilliant, though powerful is no match for Tom Riddle."  
  
"You are right, I am not. But there is one who is."  
  
"Your golden boy won't save you Albus, from what I hear he couldn't even save himself."  
  
...  
  
Cursing in some archaic language, one that he very rarely reverted back to Severus Snape blinked at the clean white expanse in front of his eyes, identifying it as the ceiling in one of the private inclosed wards. In the bed next to him was the cause of his waking. Harry was screaming, had this been any other time he would have been amused at the high pitch. Abruptly the screaming stopped. Severus sat up and moved to sit on the edge of Harry's bed. The teen was mumbling something softly, appealing to someone and, even though he was unconscious his face was pleading. The spy never has a day off after all, he leant close listening for any intelligible words.  
  
"No, not now, Severus don't leave me, you can't leave me...alone, no not anymore, not again. Please, Severus..." The boy's head was thrashing side to side. Not knowing if he was doing the right thing the potions professor cupped Harry's jaw and cheek with a calloused hand.  
  
"Harry I'm here, I'm here with you, Severus is here." It struck him as odd that the teen was using his name but then he got the distinct impression that the Gryffindor was thinking aloud. 'He thinks of me as a person, not just someone filling a position.' His reverie was broken by a silence that permeated the very air of the ward. Coming back to the physical he was again lost, this time in the green orbs glowing with relief.  
  
"I'm glad to see you professor." It was barely imperceptible, the slight lifting at the corners of an ordinarily harsh mouth, something that you'd barely notice unless you knew that face, had studied it, wondering what it would look like were it graced with a genuine smile. Harry was quite sure he was the first Gryffindor to see this for many years.  
  
The next occurrence was less subtle but equally surprising. Severus Snape, potions master of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry had Harry boy- who-fucking-lived Potter launch himself at him. A student (in his right mind, emotional breakdowns are different) was hugging him, no this was worse, practically snuggling up, arms around the neck, head buried in one of the hollows of his collarbone the whole shebang. Severus was still leaning over, this was uncomfortable, something had to be done. Awkwardly he held the thin teen below the arms and pulled as he sat up.  
  
...  
  
Albus Dumbledore stood dumbstruck at the door leading to the closed off ward, did Severus just smile? The thing acted out in front of him like a children's pantomime, ridiculous concept, a simply ludicrous plot, yet perfect. Perhaps Harry could not save himself, but there was someone who could.  
  
So yes * tap-dance * 10 chapters yaheeee! So R&R please * hugs * Liadan Di 


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